Synonyms: despaired

Assumption: in simple alignment toward a sexual meaning, “despair” ought to be synonymous or wordvariant of frustration, if not, perhaps, quite so final in meaning (frustration of mutual climax can still be consoled by crumb orgasm.) It has seemed to me in several instances that “despair” can mean a frustrating disappointment that has a pinpointed occurrence in time. I surmise it is in the period when the capture of the glans is in balance, probably exactly the same for which she uses the symbol “midnight”, and possibly other such symbols, which I have not quite recognized as yet.